looking back

When I was thinking about the upcoming year, I initially wanted to write and share bucket list with you all. I just wanted to look ahead to the future. I didn’t want to look at all the mess of this past year. This past year was an utter mess; it was filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. If I could, I would just sweep it all under the rug and hide it all away. A few months ago, I read a blog post, by my dear friend Sammi, about sunsets. In short, it wrecked me. Her profound words about the complexity of life and the sky reminded me that hiding your life isn’t the answer. Even when life is dark and messy, it still is beautiful, because it is life. That is why I decided to share some memories with you all instead.

I came into the year with a smile and a new hole in my face! Just over a year ago a decide to get my nose pierced. Even though it technically was something that happened in 2016, it sort of defined my 2017 as a year of change and rebellion. 2017 was a year filled with art museums and great music. It was also a year filled with hard work and deep sadness along with laughter and great joy.

Spring semester can only be described by studying, adventures, and studying adventures. In March I started this blog! I explored Julian, CA for the first time. I saw Panic! at the Disco in concert (a true highlight).

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My summer  was spent in a chemistry research lab. It was during research that I decided to change my major to Chemistry. I decided I want to go to grad school and pursue a PhD in Chemistry. I repeatedly banged my head against the lab bench with the failures of research, laughed it off, and then made some big mistakes, but in the end we somehow succeeded. This summer I also got to see my cousin get married, I got to live with some of my favorite people, I even had the joyful opportunity to fly out to Texas to visit my dear friend, Christiana. Summer also brought about me getting my first car!

This past fall semester was probably the most challenging yet. I had the wonderful opportunity to lead an alpha group and be a part of an amazing family group (pictured bellow). Without these girls, my awesome-sauce co-leaders, my alpha girls, my roommates, my friends, and my family I don’t think I would have been able to get through the most difficult classes I’ve ever taken. Let me just say, I do not recommend taking Quantum Mechanics and Biblical Hebrew at the same time with a full course load. (That doesn’t mean you can’t or you shouldn’t do it!) This semester was all beyond hard, but oh so rewarding. I started a craft shop with my two dear friends (and roommates) Cassie and Taylor, I drank way too much coffee, and sang Hamilton just a little too loud.

This year I also experienced real heartbreak for the first time. No matter the circumstances, it is never fun to be broken up with. I choose to include this part of my year because so much growth has come from it. Particularly, I was reminded that my value is not defined by another person.

img_0842All in all I can say it was a good year, because it was simply another year. It was a year where I got to travel and see good friends. This year I stepped out in faith in more ways than one. I started writing again this year. Although it feels like 2017 kicked me to the ground, I’m still here standing.

I’m still figuring our what I want out of 2018, but I’ll let you know when I figure it out. Happy New Year’s Eve,



2 Comments Add yours

  1. sammimrowka says:

    tori! yes!! i love you and your vulnerability 😸❤️


    1. Tori Berry says:

      I love you too Sammi!!!


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